.:: Fire The Housewife ::.

Just an idea…

August 23rd, 2008

So, Ben left me a comment the other day saying this…

Ben Says:
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:00 am eThat is awesome that you are having a good time.

Things about the second grade that I think you, as a teacher, could address:

-more cookies
-bullies
-less “Mr. Frog and Mr. Toad.” They were the first Ambiguously Gay Duo.
-more cookies

Now, I hated school for the most part. I mean, sadly, I loved the actual learning part, I hated the people who surrounded me, I wasn’t exactly cool, so I spent a large part of my adolescent years being made fun of. So, heres what we’re going to do, you’re going to post your worst school experiences due to bullies or classmates (same thing) and I’m going to choose the ones I like the most, and send those people cookies and some sort of crappy card that looks like a child made it. SO START TELLING ME THOSE STORIES.

Heres just one of my stories.

So, in the 4th grade, I was playing on that big yellow slide that is kind of like a cork screw and Tiffany Spaar and Danielle McManigal come up to me and are all “OMG SARAH! ADAM BINKLEY LIKES YOU!!!!!” and I was like “yeah, whatever” (I was already desensitized to these girls and their shenanigans at that age) but they were persistent, demanding that he had professed his undying love for me by the swingset. I told them if he did he would come talk to me, they were like “no! he wants you to come talk to him!” I was still young and stupid then and told them I would, desperate that this group of REALLY COOL KIDS IN THEIR COOL REEBOK T-SHIRTS AND SHORTS WITH TENNIS SHOES WOULD ACCEPT ME EVEN THOUGH I WORE JUMPERS AND NYLON TRACK SUITS EVERY DAY. So, I stroll up to Adam Binkley, swishing along in my track suit, and said “I heard you like me, I guess I like you too (which I never did, by the way, but having a cool 4th grade boyfriend would rocket me into super stardom in Mrs. Strader’s class, Brian Varner was the only person who would ever be my partner in class and that was only because I finished all my work in like 12 seconds and was allowed to do whatever I wanted afterwards)” and he was all like “OMG GROSS!” and Tiffany and Danielle and their cronies were all pointing and laughing at me from my beloved slide. It was a rough day and everyone made fun of me for a solid week after that which is roughly equivalent to 20 years in 4th grade time.

Theres a plethora of other stories about people calling me fat, being called too fat to date, the nickname Stupid Sarah, people moving their desks away from mine when I was in their row, etc etc. Oh and lets not forget that for the entirety of my school career I was called “Mike’s Sister” by everyone, including people in my own class who should have known my name.

On a side note, bullying while I’m in charge receives some pretty harsh punishments, homie don’t play that.

Oh, on another side note, you’re up against Ben who has some AMAZING stories about being a former fattie as well, so you’ll have to bring out the big guns to beat him.

Posted in ah, memories | 7 Comments »

This is all I’ve had time for…

August 19th, 2008

Teaching 2nd grade is fun, busy, exciting, tiring.

Teaching 2nd grade and working part time every evening is fun, busy, exciting, tiring.

I have a BK in class (bad kid). But I’m starting to love him anyway.

Here’s the bulletin board I made, soon, when it’s up, I’ll link you to the website I help Mrs. B put together.

and for any old Holtonians reading this…WORKING WITH MRS. KLINGEN…SMITH…. IS THE MOST FUN I’VE EVER HAD. Not that working with Mrs. B isn’t super fly too, but man, seriously, remember how she was as a sub, she’s just as hilarious as a teacher and I love that.

Posted in Student Teaching | 3 Comments »

back to school.

August 14th, 2008

It’s my first day of school. It’s thundering.

Wish me luck!

Posted in Student Teaching | 2 Comments »

A long time coming…

August 1st, 2008

Sorry folks, I’ve basically been too lazy and too grumpy to post anything, life in You-Know-Where can be a drag sometimes. I usually sleep until about noon anymore, but the sister sent me 3 texts this morning which dragged me out of bed at 9am. I know she wouldn’t want me to put these extra hours to waste, so this is for her.

Usually I’m the sole supporter of the US Postal Service, but this summer I haven’t even felt like doing that, I did send out a letter the other day, and was waiting for the recipient to get it before I posted about it. Don’t worry Christy, I just sat down and wrote to you today too, so thank The Sister for that early wakeup too.

Well, this post is now changing directions, I can’t find those pictures I took of Mark’s card anywhere, maybe he’ll be friendly enough to find some and point us in the right direction…

Instead we’ll talk about…My dryer. No, I swear I didn’t just pull that out of my hindquarters (or Ham* as the dad and I discussed the other day). So, ever since I moved here I’ve been too afraid to dry my clothes in The Dad’s dryer because it leaves these little black marks all over everything…Exhibit A…

It’s bad, so very bad. But today after the early wakeup I saw this…

We found some metal filings and a couple broken pieces and hopefully by the end of the day I can do laundry like a normal person. Hopefully. Fingers Crossed. And All That Junk.

In other news, this fabulous little child:

Is just so cute I had to make her these black olives to use in her play kitchen:

Thats all for today, I just had to go to the garage to find a pop riveter and Mrs. Bartlow called and I’m going to go up to the school today to work with her and I guess I should take a shower before I do that and all. You know, whatevs. Don’t forget to thank the sister for waking me up early for this post.

* Dad and I were talking about Thanksgiving and how McKenzie won’t eat Turkey, I told Dad she eats Ham instead and he goes “You know how to cure her of that? Tell her it’s pig’s ass, she’ll never know the difference and you won’t have to fix her ham for Thanksgiving!”

Posted in Amelia, Oh Dad..., Student Teaching | 3 Comments »

THE PIRATE NUN!

July 17th, 2008

We got a few new Channels here in TOWN WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED. More than one of them are Jesus-channels. Now, I have nothing against Jesus channels, but, this just really sealed the deal for me and the Jesus-channels.

Don’t tell the boyfriend that this was a split second find and I forgot to get rid of the flash on my camera. I COULDN’T MISS THIS SHOT THOUGH!

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

What I’m hoping for at the All-Star Game…

July 16th, 2008

I hope Ichiro does the Mariner’s (and former Mariner Richie Sexson) proud and starts a fight…

WITH YOGI BERRA!

http://manofinterest.blogspot.com/2008/05/richie-sexson-fightbrawl-video.html

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Here’s an easy one…

July 16th, 2008

So, I didn’t talk much about what happened while The Boyfriend was here. Here’s just a few things…

First, the adorable The Nephew came to visit. I picked Him, The Boyfriend, and The Sister in Law up at the airport on the first of July. The Sister in law had a little snafu on the plane in which her wallet was stolen. So, not the greatest start to a trip, but the kid remained cute. That’s what’s really important.

On the 4th I made some delicious delicacies for the family to enjoy. I mixed up some pretty tasty homemade ice cream that The George (sorry, The boyfriend of the sister/the baby daddy of the niece was too hard to type), The Dad, and The Boyfriend cranked out in the yard.

It was so tasty that The Nephew tasted it by the fistful.

And the Sister-in-law vomited at the thought of sharing a spoon with everyone in the family. The Boyfriend, myself, and The Boyfriend’s Parents went to Lake Shawnee for fireworks, I was left unimpressed. Obviously fireworks just can’t compete with The Dad’s dry ice bombs made with beer. It’s just not the same.

The boyfriend and I did some travelling around the country side to Centralia, Vermillion, White Cloud, and Troy, Kansas. One of the most amazing WTF moments happened in front of the Haverkamp Grocer (located in Centralia, Kansas on John Riggins Blvd.). A BAIT VENDING MACHINE! Seriously, together now, WTF. DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF.

In Vermillion we visited some of my old favorites, Augie’s Cat House

The Depot

And, well, all of downtown.

I wasn’t really all that fond of the pictures I took in the other places, but I did take this little number in White Cloud where you can see 4 states. I AM NOW FAMOUS!

Posted in The Boyfriend, The Nephew | 1 Comment »

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming…

July 9th, 2008

Sorry, I didn’t get much (any) blogging done with all the family around. Colby, Sara, and Dylan all flew in the same day and I was pretty much out of commission due to all that. SO! I’ve decided to just blog about the welding today, which should prove to be probably the most interesting thing I’ve ever produced.

So this all started when The Boyfriend asked me to ask my dad to make him a paper towel holder. Then my dad was all like “OH NO YOU DI-IN’T!” and said I should learn how to weld and cut an make him the paper towel holder myself. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, so I went ahead and didn’t whine too much. Emphasis on TOO MUCH.

First things first, cut the metal. I have always been terrified of this chop saw. I don’t like that it throws sparks, how it sounds, how the metal falls on the ground when you’re done cutting, how hot the metal is when it falls, etc. etc. etc. Dad and I don’t have any safety glasses so I was wearing the welding helmet for safety!

Next I welded those little pegs on the table, Then I heated the metal with the torch and bent it for the base of the paper towel holder. This was totally my favorite part, I felt like the incredible hulk bending that metal. In fact, several times during this process I stopped to turn into a big green man. It was amazing.

I also had on Dad’s shirt, my old Goodyear leather gloves, and I’m not wearing any makeup. It was a fabulous day!

Right after this Dad’s camera died and didn’t want to take any more pictures, so the rest of the process is undocumented. I did, however, take pictures of the finished product. The best part about it is that it’s so heavy that you don’t have to hold onto it when you pull a paper towel off.

Dad refused to grind off my sad looking welds because Colby should see how hard I worked on my first welding project, so it’s pretty rough. But I kind of like it, and Colby didn’t even get arrested for having this weapon in his suitcase, so that’s good!

Oh and just to make this post more interesting…

LOOK A LITTLE BABY!!!!

Posted in Construction, The Boyfriend | 7 Comments »

What a pain au chocolat.

July 1st, 2008

So I finally got that pastry baking down to something beside creme puffs. Though those will always be my first pastry love. I have had many adventures in the past few days (look forward to a picture of me in a welding helmet . . . actually welding) and will be posting those soon.

But today, OH TODAY. I’m going to show you my beautiful Pain au Chocolat. Dad gave this his seal of approval, it was delicious. Now, it’s a little labor intensive, so 1. not only are there not many pictures of the steps, 2. if you’re going to attempt this please note that this is something like 14 hours of prep work for like . . . 5-10 pastries. If you have the time though, it’s TOTALLY worth it.

Heres what you’ll need . . .

1 1/2 c. milk

1/3 c. brown sugar

1Tbsp and 1/4 tsp active dry yeast

3 3/4 - 4 1/2 c. flour (you’ll be continuously adding flour as needed, start with the 3 3/4, build up as needed)

1 Tbsp salt

3 sticks butter

Okay, to make your dough you’re going to first scald your milk, don’t boil it, but get it to about 110degrees then take it off the heat, mix in a bowl with brown sugar and yeast, let it stand about 5 minutes to get foamy. Start working on your other stuff.

Mix flour and salt, add your yeast mixture when it’s all foamed up.

Knead by hand for 2 minutes, adding more flour as needed. This stuff is pretty freaking sticky, so don’t worry when it’s a huge nasty mess. Use a lot of flour on your surface as you knead. Okay, so you’re going to wrap this up in some plastic wrap, and stick it in the fridge for an hour.

one hour later…

This is the weird part, but also the awesome part. Take out your three sticks of butter, get out your rolling pin, BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE BUTTER UNTIL YOU CAN ROLL IT OUT FLAT. You want to make an 8×5 rectangle out of it. Put your rectangle on a towel, not a terrycloth towel though, you need one of those linen-y kitchen towels. then put the towel of butter in the fridge while you roll out the dough.

Okay, so now take that dough out of the fridge, you’re going to use your rolling pin to mash it down a little, make little uniform indentions. Then roll it out into a 10×16 rectangle (if you’re as big a stickler as me, you cook with a ruler, I had to was a ruler that was covered with butter after this experience. Don’t tell Dad but I totally used one of those really nice drafting rulers he has around the house. Shhhhh)

Okay, so once your rectangle is made of dough, get the butter out, and lay it inside the dough, you want to put the short side of the butter parallel to the long sides of the long sides of the dough. then you’re going to fold the bottom third up over the butter and the top 1/3 down over the dough you just folded up. Then you’re going to roll out the dough again. Then you’re going to fold it up again into a rectangle, rewrap it in plastic wrap, and put it in the fridge.
You’re going to follow that basic procedure 4 more times with an hour of chilling between. Then after your 4th fold you’re going to put it in the fridge for 8 hours.

Okay, then when you’re done you’re ready for forming and baking, which is where my pictures come in.

So basically what you do here is make some rectangles out of your dough, I used a pizza cutter to slice mine, it worked like a charm. You’ll probably need to roll it out some more and stretch it a little. In the center of it put some chocolate chips, as many as you think you’d like, I like to put a solid line in the middle because I like lots of chocolate in mine. Some of the other testers said they would have preferred less chocolate. After you’ve added your chocolate it’s just a matter of folding it like before, make sure when you put it on your cookie sheet you put the side with the fold down so it doesn’t come open during baking.

Before you bake it, make an egg wash to baste over the top. Egg wash = 1 egg 1-2Tbsp water, whisked. Then just use your dad’s fancy new silicone baster to put it on top, Now, usually when I’ve made stuff there is a major freakout if you get the egg on the pan because it keeps it from rising, I got some egg wash on the pan, but it totally still rose. I wouldn’t do it on purpose, but if theres an accidental egg washing, don’t worry too much about it.

Then bake at 375 for 20-ish minutes. Just watch for the top to turn golden brown and delicious. Then eat them all up in all their buttery fatty obesity causing glory.

ET VOILA!

Posted in And She Cooks! | 4 Comments »

It’s the campout!

June 23rd, 2008

This is dedicated to my favorite reader, Stinky.

So pretty much I slept on the ground all weekend and smelled like campfires and lake water. Basically I love camping, but hate the packing/unpacking/repacking/reunpacking. The highlights of this campout include dad’s dry ice bomb, which he made with beer, which ended up showering all over him as he went to find out why it hadn’t exploded. Dad is pretty awesome at … well, everthing.

Basically then a lot of sitting around and doing nothing until really late at night when Stinky, Mark, and Rebecca thought they could outdo me with the lights on their phones and whatever. That’s when I pulled out the camera and burned up their retnas for good.