This is actually a gift for The Sister. I’m making her come up here to get it though, I won’t send it.
Sometimes you need someone to be fodder for your blog, to listen while you complain about life, to listen when you scream/cry/laugh/pity yourself. Sometimes when your life is just completely awful and you need someone to blame it on even when it’s not remotely their fault.
And sometimes those people just take it and go on. That someone is my The Sister.
So, The Boyfriend was invited to a frilly little baby shower for a work-friend of his.
Because of this, I’d like to share with you all a rant SECRET. The Boyfriend is awful at recognizing anyone when anything happens. In case you forgot, his BlackBerry exploded on my birthday and subsequently my birthday was canceled until he could fix it. Then we drove to Target together like 5 seconds before my birthday lunch that I planned with the 2 friends I have here so he could get me a gift. Not exactly Mr. Thoughtful. So, being the dutiful FTHW girlfriend of over FOUR YEARS I take care of everything. Yes. If you’ve gotten a birthday card, gift, thoughtful note that “we” were “just thinking about you” Fathers Day, Mothers Day, Christmas, New Years, Graduation, Baby Shower, ETC ETC ETC card, It was from me. The only contact The Boyfriend even had with that card was maybe to carry it to work to put it in the mailbox so it’d get to you faster. Or he might have looked up from his phone long enough to look at the card that I painstakingly searched for that would be perfect for you. That’s a maybe though.
BUT STILL! AFTER ALL THIS! I very rarely am included on any invitation to anything he is invited to. I’m not even included as “and guest” usually. So, high fives to the 2 people in The Boyfriend’s life that have remembered that I exist when you send invites. And also, high fives to the people in my life that include the both of us on everything. The fact is, most of my family likes him more than me anyway. Plus, the parts of my family that love me more mostly just know me as “That girl that makes cookies” and not that I don’t love them in similar ways like “Girl that sews things for me” and “girl that answers my tax questions” and “guy that cooks me steaks”
And from now on, if my name isn’t on the invite, I’m going to assume the invitation is not for me, and I will not be taking care of the gift/card.
In closing, if you’d like to invite the person/items The Boyfriend truly spends the most time with, send invites to “The Boyfriend and BlackBerry” or “The Boyfriend and Work Girlfriend” or even “The Boyfriend and his coworkers that are constantly asking him to work on the weekends”
Today The Boyfriend and I are browsing through pictures on our computers in an attempt to find some worthy of printing and hanging in our house. The Boyfriend refused to let this one make the cut, but I’m pleading with the Steelworkers Union to make this their official photo for whenever they strike…
THE NIECE HATES GOODYEAR’S UNFAIR LABOR PRACTICES:
Whoa, guys, sorry. I got a job and that was insane. 3 whole days of work in a row, ALMOST TOO MUCH! I’m going to tell you though, I have the next 5 days (FIVE DAYS) off and I’m going to have some marathon baking time and then I’ll stock up so many posts you won’t have to worry your little heads about ever having to go without me again.
BUT TODAY. Since I haven’t yet baked anything, I have decided to share with you a horrible secret.
So, once upon a time, a girl I knew in high school was making chicken strips or something and I’ll be honest, I automatically assume 1. You don’t know how to cook, 2. You’re going to want to take the easiest way out possible. I’m not doing this to be rude, I’m doing this because The Sister doesn’t know how to cook and wants to take the easiest way out possible. KIDDING! LOVE YOU THE SISTER!
Anyway, I mention that Hey! a really easy quick way to make chicken strips (which I have TOTALLY done at home before) is to use Bisquick. Okay, I get it, it’s a mix, YOU DIDN’T PUT THAT IN THERE WITH YOUR OWN TWO HANDS. But you know what? I didn’t put that flour in that bag with my own two hands either. Well, sometimes I do when I buy bulk flour, but you know what I mean. Anyway she responds with “I like to KNOW what’s going into my family.” Which I can understand, but laughably, I saw that the same girl was taking some kind of diet pills later.
Speaking of hypocrites though, I use Bisquick occasionally. It’s not often, but sometimes I’m tired and I just want The Boyfriend to eat and leave me alone. Sometimes the best way to make this happen is to throw some leftovers in a baking dish and cover it with Bisquick and call it “taco bake” or “spaghetti bake” or “whatever bake”
But yes, what I’m saying here is, sometimes I use prepackaged mixes. In fact today I whined to The Boyfriend that I wanted him to stay home and have pancakes with me this morning. He laughed in my face and told me “NO! I LOVE WORK, SHUT UP, WOMAN!” and ran out the door laughing. That happened, I’m serious.
So I ate pancakes alone. In tears. From this mix.
So, things I like about Bob’s Red Mill mix:
It’s Whole Grain!
Things I don’t like:
You have to add oil (and this morning I accidentally dropped the whole oil cruet into the mix.)
You have to add eggs (and it doesn’t turn out right if you use flaxseed meal and water.)
There is a lot of mixing!
I like mixes that you basically add water and go, if I’m making something from a mix there is probably a reason, and spending time putting it together is probably not something I really feel like doing. If I have that time/energy, I’m not going to use some cruddy mix.
Anyway, the real confession here is…
I USED IT TO MAKE SNOWFLAKE PANCAKES AND IT’S ALMOST JUNE. OH THE SHAME.
So I recently received a recipe from my Aunt S. for an East Coast treat called the Gob.
You do not even know how many Arrested Development jokes were made in this house this weekend.
No, seriously, these are tasty. They’re a lot like a whoopie pie only the filling is more whipped cream tasting. I really liked them, The Boyfriend who would prefer everything tasty like pure sugar wanted them to be sweeter. They were so adorable though, I did forget to step on them per advice from Cousin J though. DANGIT!
For the Gobs you will need:
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup sour milk
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1/2 cup hot coffee
1 tsp vanilla
Start by creaming together your shortening and sugar. I did not have any sour milk, so I just used plain old milk, you can too!! Add that in and just keep adding things in one my one and mixing well until it’s all mixed. You mixture is going to be pretty thick, think a little runnier than brownie batter, just slightly.
OH BY THE WAY. There was a recent discussion on facebook about me running out of pastry bags and how I could just substitute a gallon sized ziploc. We have to talk. I cannot do that. Something about those darn ziplocs just don’t work the way a pastry bag does, I have no control over it, I think it’s because it’s kind of off center or something. Anyway, so I had run out of pastry bags and I’m making these and because I tend to make more of a mess using a spoon I thought, okay, I’ll try the ziplock bag again, maybe I’ve gotten better…Here is what I produced:
Occasionally, yes, I can use a ziploc, if i’m using a very small opening and the frosting is very thick, but yeah, this didn’t happen. After we got some pastry bags I ended up with this:
SO YES! FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELVES FOR USING THAT ZIPLOC BECAUSE I CAN’T!
Anyway, those are going to bake in a 350 degree oven, mine only took about 8 minutes, the recipe says 10-15, I’m assuming I made these much smaller than normal people. EVERYTHING IS JUST SO MUCH CUTER IN MINIATURE!
Next you want to make the filling. I really liked this filling and could totally see using it for other things too. I think if you were to swap the vanilla for rootbeer or raspberry or any other flavor it could be really fun! What I’m saying here is, this is a fun filling and you should love it.
You will need to first make a custard:
4 scant Tbsp cake flour (I cheated and used regular old flour and it turned out really well.)
1 cup milk
You’re going to put these in a small saucepan on the stove, stir it constantly until it boils and thickens. Here is my advice, GET OUT YOUR WHISK. The Boyfriend apparently noticed that sometimes the kitchen gets dirty and that he can ACTUALLY clean it up too and so a few of my kitchen tools have been in places I don’t anticipate. I really try not to complain much because I know that I am insane about where things go in the kitchen, but when I first started this I couldn’t immediately find my whisk so I used a rubber spatula. I had the worst time getting the flour to mix in. After I threw a few things around, located the whisk, and whisked this mixture, all was well. Also, mine got pretty thick before it actually boiled, I stirred a little less towards the end and let it get to a boil and removed it from the heat. Leave that off to the side to cool a little while you mix the rest of the filling.
So, cream together 1 cup of shortening and 1 cup of sugar, let it get a little fluffy.
Then you get to add your custard!
Yours will definitely look this disgusting too. Trust me.
Anyway, mix those together, add a tsp of vanilla and be on high until it’s fluffy. It will be noticeably different. You’ll know when it’s done.
Then you just fill the cookies with that filling and make everyone ooh and aah over how cute they are.