.:: Fire The Housewife ::.

First of all, all apologies for the lack of posts but let me explain what has gone down in the past few weeks.

That picture there? That’s my whistle. I felt really really prepared after my graduation party because so many of my really great mentors bought me supplies that you need but don’t know you need. The one thing I didn’t get was a playground whistle, The Boyfriend brought this home for me as a surprise the other day. I think it’s a sign that I’m ready.

After almost 2 years of searching, I have finally found a teaching job. I am beyond thrilled to finally get to use my degree and be back in a classroom actually doing what I’ve always wanted to do. The job does require a big move back to the home state, but even with that I could not be happier to have found a district where so far the administration and staff has been so wonderfully amazing to me that I don’t think I could have found a better place to teach. I told one of my professors about the district I was hired in and she wrote back telling me she was “amazed I got a job there!” and she was “SO IMPRESSED!” I think I have found an excellent home for my first year of teaching and hopefully for years to come.

This has not, however, come without a massive amount of stress. The Boyfriend is very happy in his job and has not yet decided if he is going to make that move back with me. I completely respect this decision. Due to some circumstances and choices that were made that are completely beyond my control, I will not be embarking on another long distance relationship with The Boyfriend, so this move could possibly mean I have to change his name on my blog.

I am sad to leave Seattle and I am sad that this could mean what it means, but let’s talk about this…

I did not decide I wanted to teach a few years ago when I started college, or late in high school, or whatever. I told my family, and anyone who would listen, when I was 7 years old that all I wanted to do was be a teacher and I have stuck with that through the years. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do and all I’ve ever worked for. When you work for something most of your life, you get really good at it, and I am. I’m really good at teaching, not to toot my own horn, but I’m awesome at what I do. It is the only thing I’ve ever been able to say “yeah, I’m really good at this and I’m probably more awesome at it than anyone you know.” haha, okay, so I probably wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m better than everyone else, but I think good teachers really honestly feel like that is what they want to do, all they want to do, and that they are good at what they do. The fact is, I was up here for almost 2 years and in that time span I got 2 interviews and was not offered either job. Just because I have a degree does not mean that I am going to get a job, that isn’t the case anywhere. In fact, I have several friends in Kansas that graduated at the same time as me and STILL don’t have a job. Teaching is no longer the profession that you get a degree and you’re guaranteed a position somewhere, anywhere. That just isn’t how it works now. In the course of the 4 years I have dated The Boyfriend every decision that was made was made because of his career and his choices and what was best for him. At this point in my life, I have to start making decisions for me, I have to have a job, I have to have a career. I haven’t had insurance for 2 years now. I don’t have a retirement plan. I don’t have anything.

Then! THEN THERE IS THE ISSUE OF EVERYONE THINKING I’M GOING TO BE BORED OUT OF MY MIND BACK IN THE HOME STATE. Let’s address this because it seems like half the people in my world are so sure that this will happen. First of all, your first years of teaching you don’t have time to be bored. Your first years of teaching are all school all the time. Especially since I’ll be teaching a grade I’ve never taught before. The learning curve on this job is going to be insane. I also know that if you know me at all you know I lead the worlds most active life here in Seattle. This is because I’ve spent the last 2 years absolutely miserable. I am not a bored person by nature. I grew up in a small town and I made the best of that. I lived in that state for 24 years and very very rarely do I remember being “bored.” I think it was said best by The Grandmother…”Only boring people are bored.” And that has been the case the past couple years, I’ve been a boring person. I worked an awful job that didn’t care about their employees at all and I lost that job and moved on to a job that was sporadic and required me to drive almost 100 miles every day back and forth through traffic for a minuscule paycheck. Seattle did not give me the chance to be happy in a job and things have happened that have caused me to be a little unhappy in general. The fact is, I need to do something for me for the first time.

Besides, let’s talk about my family. I am going to regret this one later but, dangit, I LIKE MY FAMILY. They are weird and insane and sarcastic and sometimes a giant pain in my butt, but I love them! AND NOT BECAUSE I HAVE TO! I love them because they can remind me of things like that time The Brother was fishing and hooked me in the head and The Cousin from “the other side” went running like crazy to get our parents and tell them I WAS DYING! DYING! OH NO SHE’S DYING!

Or how The Orchard Uncle wets the bed when he plays in the campfire because that’s what The Grandpa always said would happen.

Or that time The Republi-Dad wet the bed THAT WE WERE SHARING at the campout. STUPID CAMPFIRES.

(sorry family that I just told the internet about your bed-wetting habits…)

Embarassing or not, I love those people. You know it’s real love when my Aunt has thrown every graduation party I’ve ever had without complaint, without payment, without anything. It needed to be done and she did it and I’m so grateful for that. I like those people and I like that they are there for me without question. Sorry, Seattle, but you don’t offer me that in the least.

FACT: The Hillbilly Cousin and his wife just had their second child yesterday. I still haven’t met their first child.

FACT: I missed my family’s Christmas because there was a snowstorm and they had to reschedule it for after I left.

FACT: My Orchard family celebrated their 30th anniversary with our traditional Family Campout and I had to miss it…again.

FACT: My niece is playing soccer and I’m not even going to have the chance to see 1 game.

I understand that most people don’t care about this stuff, not most, but some, but I do! I sent The Awesome Cousin’s stepson cookies overnight for his class party BECAUSE I LIKE DOING THINGS FOR THEM. I like to help out, I like to be that cool cousin that does stuff.

In closing, I don’t really know the future of FTHW. I know over the next few weeks I’ll have some posts because THE REPUBLI-DAD WILL BE HERE SOON and I’ve already come up with one heck of a menu for him. And maybe once I make the big move back I’ll have to post about how I have to eat red meat and meat in general again because I’ll be poor and The Republi-Dad has offered to send me on my way with some of the meat in his freezer (as well as some spaghetti, and I’m sure I can talk him into freezing me some chili too…) Maybe the Repuli-Dad can guest post?! That’d be fun right?!

Wow…This was long. But now you all know, internet, you know, I love my family, I’m moving back, and I have a teaching job. GET EXCITED MIDDLE AMERICA. Oh! and if you come to visit me, we’ll road trip to get Colorado Burritos.

Bryce Avary? Are you there? Are your crappy pop punk lyrics singing about me? haha, please enjoy.

I am planning on a real post later today with some real explanations of why I haven’t even bothered to write even once in a very long time.  But until then, I’d like to share with you this video I found today…

I’ve been a Rosie Thomas fan for quite some time now, this being one of my favorite songs, but this really sealed the deal for me. Paper fireplace? Raccoon wearing a red coat? Red keyboard? I SAY YES.

So until later today, enjoy!

So, did you know it’s a lot of work to write up a post, add pictures, not misspell fingers as gingers, etc. etc.? IT IS. And it just seems lately that I couldn’t care any less about making posts.  Really all I’ve cared about the past few days is listening to records and doing work that is only about  15 steps from my computer (just so you know the bathroom is about 15 steps from my computer, so we’re good there.)

Did you also know that I have approximately 20 stitches left on the Woodgrain Onesie I started forever ago for my new baby second cousin? DID YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE HAVING BABIES LEFT AND RIGHT!? DID YOU KNOW THAT I FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE SOMETHING FOR EVERY ONE OF THESE BABIES?! SHOO MAMA.

I’m feeling SO out of it that I promised The Sister I would rip a record I bought the other day for her AND I HAVEN’T EVEN BROUGHT IT UPSTAIRS. Moving (not changing houses, just walking) is a lot of work, people. ALSO! did you know that I found and bought Herman’s Hermits Greatest Hits Volume I on vinyl? Not just any vinyl. ORANGE VINYL.

NOT JUST ANY ORANGE VINYL, BUT A TAIWAN IMPORT! WHOO! THIS IS WHERE YOU SEE I’M A DORK!

BUT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

AND BECAUSE HIS PARENTS SENT ME THESE PICTURES ABOUT 15 YEARS AGO AND I NEVER POSTED THEM

I’d like to introduce you to what is probably the cutest baby on the face of the earth.  I mean seriously. I’ve seen a lot of babies and I don’t think any other baby compares.  You know it’s bad when I pass up all other babies to call this one the cutest of all.  Plus I kind of have a secret crush on his parents.  Mostly because they’re fun! and Cool! AND WHEN I SEE THEM ON THE STREET THEY LET ME SNUGGLE THEIR BABY.  Prepare yourself for this.  I don’t know what will happen when you see this, but, prepare yourself.  I think I might have had a crazy fit of “AWWWWWW!” and “OOHH WITTLE BABBYYYYYY” It was rough…

You see that elephant parade on his belly? THAT WAS MY DOING! How CUTE are those elephants?! HOW CUTE IS THAT BABY?! This is Baby Miles, baby of Coworker friends of The Boyfriend and I.  That hair! Those eyes! THOSE LITTLE TINY FINGERS.

I had been dying to make something with that elephant parade for YEARS. When The Boyfriend told me Coworker and Coworker Wife were having a baby I knew they’d love it. Mostly because Coworker Wife is probably one of the most cool people I’ve ever met. Cool people like Elephants.  Plus she made me a dragonfly paperweight. DID YOU KNOW THAT I ALSO LIKE DRAGONFLIES?  It’s a connection.  I hope they never read this because it just solidifies the insane creepiness that is FTHW.

You see, it’s just, there’s this collection of items around my desk that I love more than anything. They include:

The dragonfly paperweight

a flamingo ornament my Mother MacKinnon sent me

a yellow submarine ornament The Sister gave me a million years ago

a tiny Eiffel Tower statue I brought home from France

a tin plate with the Spanish movie poster for Breakfast at Tiffany’s from The Spaniard

and one of those toys where you push the button and it falls over, in the shape of a flower, given to me for my birthday 2 years ago by The Niece.

These items have been living on my desk for a while and they’re all perfection. Granted, I purchased one of them for myself, but the rest were given to me by people that are awesome.

Off Topic.

BABY MILES!

On an odd little sidenote about The Coworker, I met him several years ago on a visit up here. The Boyfriend had a work-ish dinner with him, The Old Boss, and another coworker, I think it was the summer I was working at the office and the only people that would talk to me were The Boyfriend’s Brother and Sister-in-law, and This Coworker SERIOUSLY had a whole conversation with me, even though I’m scared and awkward around new people.  He chit chatted like we were buddies.  Since then, there have been few other coworkers to even acknowledge I exist.  THIS IS A LESSON IN NOT BEING MEAN TO YOUR COWORKER’S FTHWS. SOMEDAY YOU’LL HAVE A KID AND YOU’LL WANT CUTE STUFF FROM HER. BE YE NOT SO STUPID.

So, I know, I know. I even told The Sister I would blog yesterday. I’m not very good at this, it was nice outside so I decided to go buy a whole lot of records. One of these days I’ll introduce ya’ll to my record collection, it’s really quite spectacular.

But for you, today, I have some new cupcakes. Let’s preface this by saying I followed a recipe, something I rarely do, and I just wasn’t pleased with the results. I thought these were bland. And you know what else? The Boyfriend’s new coworker agreed. I had such high hopes. I will tell you that the crumble I used on top of these was amazing though. I even froze the leftover to use in the future, I think it’d be so good on top of an apple tart.

So, Sunday I woke up and said “Whoa. Let’s go to the Ballard Market and buy some fresh fruit and bake something with it!” and so we did! Want to see what I found at the Ballard Farmer’s Market?

Don’t even bother thinking these don’t look gorgeous. Because they do. And they were so tasty. I think I had this bag of cherries in my possession all of about 10 seconds before I had pulled one out to eat. Side story: I remember when I was little, like REALLY little, when my grandparents still lived in their big house on Kansas Street and The Grandma would buy a bag of cherries at the store and I’d sit on the stairs with the bag and a trashcan (for the stems and pits) and just eat and eat and eat. I think that is probably why for a very long time I didn’t like cherries, I probably over did it. I think I probably ate most of that pound of cherries all on my own. THINK OF ALL THE ANTIOXIDANTS I GOT FROM THOSE. I was probably actually a super-human as a child.

Just look at another picture of those cherries:

BEAUTIFUL. They’re hugging! Stop thinking I’m insane!

Anyway, so I bought these cherries and convinced myself not to eat the entire pound while we wandered around the market and found flowers and came home to try out this “Cherry-Crumble Cupcakes” recipe I found on Tasty Kitchen.

For them you will need:

FOR THE CUPCAKES:
250 grams All-purpose Flour
1 Tablespoon Baking Soda
2 whole Eggs
125 grams Confectioner’s Sugar
2 Tablespoons Vanilla Sugar
80 milliliters Oil
250 grams Yogurt
500 grams Cherries

FOR THE CRUMBLE:
100 grams All-purpose Flour
50 grams Grounded Almonds
75 grams Granulated Sugar
75 grams Soft Butter
1 Tablespoon Cinnamon

Don’t be intimidated by the measurements. I wasn’t. Pretty much I like any recipe that allows me to whip out my food scale.

So, before we begin let’s start with the changes I made. I know I can make vanilla sugar, but I didn’t feel like it and I wasn’t about to pay 8 bucks for a tiny little jar of it, so I decided to use regular sugar. I also didn’t use plain yogurt. I decided to use Vanilla Bean yogurt.

Let’s talk about that yogurt. I don’t think ya’ll have access to this yogurt unless you live up here, but this stuff…

This stuff will make even a non-yogurt lover a yogurt lover. I’m iffy on yogurt, some kinds I like, some I don’t. Some days I like it, some days I don’t. Sometimes I’ll go for months and months and eat nothing but yogurt and then not want to look at yogurt for another year or two. This stuff is just absolutely wonderful though. It’s a local yogurt but not expensive! I love that about it! We bought 2 containers for 99 cents which is basically cheaper than any other yogurt here. PLUS! LOOK AT THIS:

This vanilla bean yogurt even comes with its very own dirt! KIDDING! This is how I made myself feel better about not using the vanilla sugar.

Anyway.

Preheat your oven to 350 and mix together your flour and baking soda, then set that aside because we don’t want to talk to it for a while.

Next put your powdered sugar and eggs in a mixing bowl and mix it until it’s creamy. This is going to take a little bit. Not like 10 minutes or anything, but you guys know how powdered sugar can be, cantankerous. So, get it lookin’ all pretty like this:

Next add your vanilla sugar (or your plain sugar), oil, and plain yogurt (or vanilla yogurt), whatever makes you happy/is convenient. Then gently fold in your bowl of dry ingredients. I also added about a tablespoon of Apple Wine from The Orchard Family to the batter at this point.

Then you get to conquer your cherries. Now, upon beginning this adventure The Boyfriend says “Do we need to get a cherry pitter?” and I said “PFFT! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? OF COURSE I DON’T NEED A CHERRY PITTER!” Trust me. You need a cherry pitter. I sliced all mine into quarters because those babies were gigantic and I did not think that would be tasty, in fact, in retrospect, I wish I would have chopped them up even smaller.

The cherries bled all over me while I did this, but OH MAN. STILL SO GOOD. I might have licked my fingers a lot. I do think that maybe a smaller tart cherry would be tastier in this, but these cherries were REALLY good.

Anyway, get those all chopped up and in a bowl, put about another 2 Tbsp of Apple Wine on them if you so desire. You can skip this step if you don’t so desire. I so desired though. Ideally you’d want those cherries to stew in that a while, but I had things to do, so I just went ahead and mixed them into my batter. Just warning you, when I mixed those cherries into my batter it turned it all a little grey and that looked pretty rondo, but WORRY NOT! it will still taste good!

Mix up your crumble and sprinkle a tbsp on top of every 2/3 full muffin cup.

Bake them for about 20 minutes in your very favorite pan (or until a cake tester comes out clean) and let them cool. Do not just go ahead and eat one. Those cherries will be hot. They will still be pretty hot 5 minutes later. Give them some time. JUST TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. JUST TRUST MY BLISTERED MOUTH ON THIS ONE.

To me, these were a really good breakfast-muffin type cupcake. I have to admit, I think these would also be REALLY tasty with a tart apple too. I think you just need to consider this a muffin and not a cupcake. It’s not as sweet and not as flavorful. I think I’d probably in the future add some cinnamon and nutmeg to the batter to pump it up a little.

Eat it up with some sort of hot beverage in your brand new favorite cup. I know it’s not the wolf cup The Boyfriend brought me home from Alaska, but I’m really saving that one for The Republi-Dad who will be here for a visit in just a few short weeks. I’M NOT SURE YA’LL ARE READY FOR THAT JELLY. I do know I’ll probably need to bake him a ton of stuff for coming out here though. He’s had to live without me for almost two years and you know how Republi-Dads can be, THEY NEED FOOD. Oh, and The Republi-Dad bakes only from a box, so he deserves something that doesn’t come from a box every now and again. Plus he loves me!

Wow. Sorry, ya’ll. I am not great at blogging. But today! TODAY! I woke up at 2am! I KNOW, RIGHT! I can party with the best of them. And by that I mean I woke up at 2am and exploded onto the scene.

Let me explain. A few years ago I was living in this awesome studio apartment, it was the true love of my life. My first apartment on my own, and I could do whatever I wanted to do there! I had just gotten this sweet job with one of the nicest ladies I’ve ever known in my whole life driving out to her house to watch a bunch of kids and basically get an awesome workout all day long.

What they don’t tell you is that THOSE KIDS GET THE FLU.

THOSE KIDS GET THE FLU AND THEY GIVE IT TO YOU.

And what I don’t tell you, is when I get the flu I lose the ability to rationalize anything. And I cry. Once in high school I had the flu and The Brother ate the last of the red popsicles and I had a massive freakout. Crying! Dying! Other things that rhyme!

So I was in that studio apartment, and The Adorable Son of The Nicest Lady Ever and I just happened to share the same flu virus and I called her, crying, at 6am to tell her I had just thrown up. She laughed and said “The Adorable Son did too! Stay home!”

So I send out a message to every one of my friends (probably via an AIM away message because I think this might have been before Facebook was that cool.) and The Friend came over with tylenol and 7up and crackers. You know, the usual gifts for sick people. She made me a glass of 7up and told me to take a couple tylenol to bring my fever down.

Which I did.

Then 10 seconds later I vomitted it all up. Right in front of her. She was standing right there watching me throw up.

When I finished, I looked at her with that “I just vomitted and I’m going to cry” face and said “Oh my god. I just exploded onto the scene right in front of you.”

That’s probably one of my fondest memories from college.

Anyway. So I’m having some down time at home since I don’t want to explode onto any scenes at any schools.

That was a good story! POST OVER.

HA! GOTCHA ANNIE! STOP TELLING CHARLIE THE F WORD!

Annie. These are your cookies In the GARBAGE! BURNED! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU AND THESE COOKIES ARE AWFUL!

Just kidding. I had to figure out how to cook these, it wasn’t easy.

So!

Recipe!

1/4 c. shortening

1/2 c. + 2 Tbsp honey

1 egg

3/4 c. pureed sweet potato

2 ish cups of flour (start with 1 1/4 work up til it’s a proper consistency)

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

2 tsp baking powder

(you can add raisins, or pecans or other chunky things if you want, but I hate chunks in my cookies. I can’t talk about chunks anymore or I’m going to start exploding onto scenes.)

Okay, first things first. The Honey.

I used this amazing stuff sent to me by Cousin J. Granted, unless you’re a pilgrim you’re probably not going to have access to this, so you can use regular honey, I actually used 2 Tbsp of regular honey because there was only a 1/2 cup here. I think having a flavored honey made a ton of difference, but since I didn’t make it with regular honey I can’t really say that, now can I? Cookies are cookies, and cookies can’t be gross. It’s the law. The Brother-In-Law will defend me on this one. He’s a cop.

I thought this was pretty dough. Granted, this is before I added flour to make it an actual cookie consistency, but YOU KNEW THAT, RIGHT!? I would say more than likely you’re going to need that full 2 cups, just follow your heart, that’s what I do. That’s also what Napoleon Dynamite does. And why wouldn’t you want to be like either one of us.

Okay. Baking these things was what really tried my patience about them. In all of my research the internet told me about 375 to 400, like any other cookie, I TRUSTED YOU, INTERNET, AND YOU MADE ME THROW AWAY SO MANY COOKIES.

So, here are your options.

You can bake at 350 until when you touch the top of one it doesn’t make an impression.

OR YOU CAN DO THE CRAZY THINGS I DID…

I started at 375. I got scared about 5 minutes in, turned it down to 325 and baked it until they were done. It is seriously trial and error. Make it work! BE TIM GUNN. Apparently I have nothing better to blog today than pop culture references. LOOK AT ME GUYS, I’M AWESOME.

These are a REALLY cakey cookie. Not even that really, I told The Boyfriend I thought they tasted like biscuits with honey on them. No one really agreed with me, but you guys know I’m right. The Co-Worker said “Do they have sweet potato in them?” This was after I told him to try a Sweet Potato Cookie. and then he said “well, they taste like sweet potato.” He’s kind of…well…we love him anyway, that’s what I want you to know.

I think they’d be a good “with tea” cookie. Having a tea party, ladies? No? No one has tea parties anymore? dang. I really want to have a real life tea party, I’m telling you. Maybe it’s because I never played “tea party” as a kid. I was too busy building elaborate Barbie homes. C’est la vie!