.:: Fire The Housewife ::.

Yes, Folks, it’s really that good.

And no, this doesn’t mean I’m coming out of blogging retirement.  There is just something about The Republi-Dad coming to visit that fills me with the need to bake.  Maybe it’s because I feel as though he’s probably not eating anything that great since I’m not linving at home, even though I know he’s a much better cook than I am.  Plus, I can even forgive him for when he mixed up okra and zucchini today and thought that zucchini made my chili taste like it was full of boogers.  That’s the true maturity I have learned from The Republi-Dad, let’s all take a moment to laugh as we realize THIS IS WHY I AM THE WAY I AM.

Anyway, let’s look at this:

Yum. This little beauty is a Caramel Apple Cider cupcake.  Don’t even bother thinking about making a tastier cupcake because it won’t happen.  These are probably the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten, ever. I really made these because I had this RIDICULOUS craving for spiced cider a few weeks ago, so I bought a half gallon of cider.   I was disappointed in the cider, but I decided to give these a try, they turned out fantastically for throwing a bunch of stuff together and hoping it tastes good.

Caramel Apple Cider Cupcakes!

2 1/2 cups flour

4 c. cider

1 1/2 cups sugar

2/3 c. shortening

3 tsp baking powder

2 tsp vanilla

1 tsp salt

2 eggs

a few drops of lemon oil flavoring

Put 4 cups of cider on stove and bring to a boil, stirring often.  Let mixture boil until it has boiled down to 2 cups.

While that is boiling go ahead and mix your dry ingredients in a bowl, I sifted my flour, but not anything else then mixed it when a whisk.  Cream shortening in a bowl and add dry ingredients.  Slowly drizzle in concentrated cider and mix well.  Finally add in eggs, vanilla, and a few drops of lemon oil flavoring then mix on high for about 2 minutes.  It will be tasty and beautiful.  If your house is like mine, it might smell mildly like potatoes, we still aren’t sure why…

I made my batter into babycakes because I find them to be the cutest thing ever.  Maybe even cuter than that little dachshund wearing the hoodie I saw the other day. SO CUTE.

Bake those at 350 for about 15-20 minutes, depending on size.  You’ll know they are done because they will brown a little bit and when you touch them they’ll spring back up.

After you bake those up you get to make the tastiest frosting ever, it is so full of fat that I recommend you start a diet right now because you’re going to gain 10 pounds looking at it.  Just sayin’.

Caramel Apple Cider Frosting

½ c. butter

1 cup brown sugar

¼ c. cider concentrate

3 cups powdered sugar

Start by melting 1/2 c. butter (or margerine if you absolutely must) on stove until melted, add brown sugar and mix well.  Cook mixture for 2 minutes before adding 1/4 c. of cider concentrate you have left over from the cupcakes. Heat until mixture boils and remove from heat.

Gradually add in your powdered sugar mixing well between each addition.  When I had finished mixing in my powdered sugar I went ahead and used a mixer to get out some lumps.  No one wants lumpy frosting.  TRUST ME, INTERNET.

Basically when those things are cool you want to frost them quickly.  The frosting is still going to be kind of warm, I will admit, I did pop mine in the freezer for a minute so I could handle it a little easier ,but after I finished 1 batch I let it cool while I added little leaves, afterward the frosting had gotten too cool.  This stuff sets up REALLY hard, so you want to get it all done right away, if you’re frosting with a knife you’ll be fine, if you decide to pipe like I did, get ready for your hands to be pretty warm.  You’ll be okay. buck up, camper.  Plus once this happens:

You’ll forget all about your scalded hands because you’ll be too busy drowning in delicious. TRUST ME.

This post is all thanks to Other Cousin J who made one of my other favorites, Raspberry Cheesecake Cupcakes, for a party for her hubs.  PEOPLE LOVED MY CUPCAKES, YA’LL. How good does that make you feel? I’ll tell you, very good.  Glad people are not only laughing at my inability to write a blog, but also trying out my recipes AND ENJOYING THEM!!

So, yesterday The Boyfriend mentions to me that it’s a month since I have posted anything.  That genuinely made me very sad.

Stop laughing, internet, I’m being serious here.

I MISS YOU, INTERNET. I KNOW YOU THINK I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, IT’S JUST, JUST, I HAVE SO MANY LESSON PLANS TO WRITE AND I’M CURRENTLY TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD SINGLE-HANDEDLY AND I’M TRYING TO EARN BONUS POINTS ON SCHOLASTIC SO I CAN BUY AN IMAC.

So, if you want to like, pretend you’re in my classroom and order books from me, you just let me know. Har, Har, Har.

Anyway. So, while The Boyfriend is slaving away in the kitchen making dinner (Dude is making grilled cheese and canned soup, don’t get too excited.) I’m going to blog. About…well..nothing really. BLOGGING ABOUT NOTHING.  This is not the premise I started this blog on.  Pastries, food, deliciousness, I do miss you, so much. I make and eat mostly rice now-a-days. I’m just busy, okay? I WILL MAKE REAL BLOG POSTS THIS SUMMER. You know, just after I start my masters degree program and quit melting down completely from my first entire school year. You know, that’s when I’ll really blog, when I’m trying to go on lavish vacations on a teacher’s budget.

Biggest complaint about my new job? THE TRAIL OF TEARS COMMUTE TO SCHOOL EACH MORNING.  Who knew I’d hate driving 14 miles each way every morning and afternoon.  I guess that’s not even the half of it, the real problem is not the tractors that drive 3mph from house to school, or the people who seem to think the speed limit is 45, not 65.  No, no.

The real problem is the fact that it is a boring drive in which I often go into a daze for most of.  Let’s talk about today, today I found myself leaving the school, driving through the first small town … at 70mph. Oops!

Look, cops,  I’d probably feel worse about speeding ridiculously though your towns if you weren’t blazing through stop signs and tailgating the cars behind me that are actually going the speed limit. I DON’T KNOW, WHATEVER, COPS.

Plus. The cops around here don’t even wear uniforms or carry guns. No guns? WHO’S GOING TO LISTEN TO THEM?

HA!